I've been up and down this well-travelled road
Every which way around
I've been up and down this well-travelled road
Through every village and town

From the north to Stow down to Westward Ho!
And every magic roundabout
I've been up and down this well-travelled road
And it's starting to get me down

I've been west and east on these well-travelled streets
And over the bridge to Wales
And I've seen some sights and some Gloucester nights
And I could tell you some tales

I've been up and down this well-travelled road
Over every hill and dale
And I stop if I like those girl hitch-hikers
And some of them are bait for jails

Well I met this babe on the west coast bay
I was driving the magic bus
She was dressed so fine in her crepe-de-chine
And all of that fancy stuff

It was dark inside and I swelled with pride
But she didn't even make a fuss
And the less that's said about what happened next
The better for both of us

All I want is my feet up by the fire
All I want is a season's view and a song or two

I've been up and down this well-travelled road
Gotta get up and go
Playing Santa Claus to those tattooed whores
Everybody seems to know (in the Biblical sense)

With the truckload swaying, the radio playing
Rockabilly, Blues and Soul
I've been up and down this well-travelled road
And it's beginning to take its toll